The Savvy Goddess
Why You’re Not Behind in Love (Even If Everyone Else Seems to Have It Figured Out)
Have you ever looked around and thought, “Why does everyone else seem to have figured out love - and I’m still here, spiralling?”
It’s a quiet ache that hits when you least expect it: scrolling Instagram, sitting across from yet another date that goes nowhere, or attending a friend’s wedding with that familiar mix of joy and heaviness.
I’ve been there too.
Even recently, I paused my own rhythm. I stepped back from posting, let myself breathe, reflect, and recalibrate. On the surface it looked like a holiday. But underneath, it was something deeper: a remembering that growth doesn’t always look like forward motion. And just like in love, taking space doesn’t mean you’re behind. It means you’re listening.
So let’s reframe this myth of being “late” in love. Let’s unhook from the pressure to perform and catch up .... and come back to the truth of your sacred timing.
The Myth of Being Behind: Why Love Isn’t a Timeline to Follow
We live in a culture that whispers (and often shouts) that love should follow a set script:
💍 Marry by 30
👶 Children by 35
📱 Date “efficiently” on the apps
🚀 Keep up, don’t waste time
For smart, self-aware women in midlife, this message cuts deep. You’ve built a life, carried responsibilities, done the inner work... and yet there’s that gnawing voice: “Why hasn’t it happened for me? Did I miss my moment?”
This belief that you’re behind triggers spirals: second-guessing your worth, questioning your standards, wondering if you’re “too much” or “too late.”
A client once told me:
“It’s not that I’m desperate. I just feel… embarrassed. Like I missed some portal everyone else walked through.”
Here’s what I gently offered her - and offer you now:
✨ Love is not a race. There is no finish line. There is only alignment.
The moment you release the pressure to perform, you return to your own pace. You begin dating from your centre, not your calendar.
What’s Really Happening When You Feel Behind
Right now, as the Pisces Lunar Eclipse approaches, the cosmos is inviting us to examine our cycles, not just the ones in the stars, but the ones within us.
Striving, then collapsing. Feeling like you’re gaining ground, only to spiral again. This isn’t failure. It’s a pattern ready to be alchemised.
Every time you tell yourself you’re “behind,” you give away your power. You start chasing timelines that were never yours. You settle for connections that echo old wounds. You confuse intensity with intimacy.
In the SAVVY™ Love Method, one of the first shifts we make is this:
🌹 Come back to centre. Stop chasing. Start discerning.
That’s the moment you step out of the spiral and into sovereignty.
A New Way to See It: Why You’re Right On Time
Years ago, I met a man who wasn’t “perfect on paper.” No flashy gestures. No promises on the first date. But his presence? Steady. Grounded. Soulful.
That man is now my husband.
He came not when I was hustling to find him, but when I had let go of performing, proving, and pleasing. When I was living from alignment, not urgency.
You’re not behind. You’re becoming.
The truth is, you’ve outgrown the old way of doing love. The version of you who chased chemistry, who mistook chaos for passion, who dated from pressure? She’s dissolving.
And the woman emerging now? She’s rooted. She’s radiant. She’s ready in a way your old self never could be.
💬 Affirmation: I am not behind. I am right on time.
What You Can Do Now: A Practical Shift Into Presence
Here’s your gentle, grounded invitation today:
✍️ Reflect
Journal on these two questions:
Where in love do I feel pressure to perform or catch up?
What would shift if I trusted my own timing instead?
🌬 Pause & Regulate
Before or after your next date (or even when scrolling apps) place a hand on your heart, take 3 deep breaths, and ask:
“Am I moving from truth, or from pressure?”
🌀 Choose Sovereignty Over Spirals
Every time you root back into your body, your knowing, your sacred pace, you are rewriting your love story. Not to rush, but to finally feel safe, seen, and sovereign.
Dating doesn’t have to feel like a job interview. It can feel like returning to your truth.
You’re Not Behind - You’re Becoming Ready
If no one has told you today, let me: You’re doing beautifully.
The pause you’re in is not a punishment. It’s preparation.
And the ache you feel is not failure. It’s wisdom.
You’re not missing your moment — you’re aligning with it. And alignment is not about age, timelines, or milestones. It’s about readiness.
🌕 You’re Invited
On 7th September, I’m hosting a special live Eclipse Circle:
✨ Date From Your Centre: Stop Spiralling and Start Seeing Clearly ✨
Together we’ll release the pressure to catch up, and reconnect with clarity, presence, and truth in love.
If you’ve been feeling the spiral, this circle is your reset.
💬 Let’s Open the Circle
What’s one old belief about love you’re ready to release? Share it in the comments. I’d love to witness and support your shift.
Hi, I'm Michaela...
Former widow. Met my soulmate online at 42. Now I coach soul-led women who’ve done the inner work but still feel stuck in love, to stop abandoning themselves and claim the connection they truly long for. This blog is your sanctuary for love that begins with YOU.
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